You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
