i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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