My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
