mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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