Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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