please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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