Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I party with great urgency now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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