I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
