i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
