is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
