Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
