First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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