I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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