Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
