i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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