No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In other news, I just burned my penis
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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