Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
