dude i'm inner monologue high
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
