Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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