We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
