you didnt know i had herpes?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
