so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Still dying that you shit outside
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
