this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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