i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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