jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize