SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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