things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
