This is not my ceiling
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
