Jerry, you need to find god
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize