Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
