I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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