Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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