Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Bring me that man meat
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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