its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
