How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
