i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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