Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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