How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
