Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
