I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
