Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
