It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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