I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize