I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
