don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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