ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize