Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have fence marks all over my body
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
