my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
