But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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