I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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