I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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