M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize