Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pants are for mortals
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
