Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
