i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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