I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
