Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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