I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm both gender and math confused
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize