hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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