I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
