My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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