I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
