Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
