I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I could make wine with my vomit
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
