I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
