it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize