is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
