i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize