so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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